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The Four Fold Way Have you ever attended a workshop that really turned you on? I did. It was five years ago and I still use techniques learned there and quote one special piece. I want to share it with you now. The class was on Active Communicating. A book was referenced called The Four Fold Way by Angeles Arrien. The concept of the book was that the indigenous people of the globe all have something to teach the rest of us. And the interesting thing is, many of them, no matter how far removed from other "tribes" they were, had similar lessons for us. Ms. Arrien researched and compiled these lessons into what she calls the Four Fold Way. Here they are.
Take your time reading these. There are many layers of meaning in there.When being present, we avoid mental multi-task. Ever attend a meeting and your bottom was in the chair, but the rest of you (your brain, your thoughts, your energies) were somewhere else? Maybe you were worrying about what was happening at the front desk. Thinking about what you have to do to prepare for a big group’s arrival later that week. Or replaying a conversation you had earlier in the day. If you are busy doing all that, how is your ability to listen to what is happening right around you right now? Are you getting the best from the moment you are in? Are you asking the right questions to get the best answers to the topic on the table? Are you even enjoying yourself as much as you could be? Hmm. It has been said that if you choose to be "present" you get a "present" of the moment. Pay attention to what has heart and meaning. Another way we have all heard this lesson is "Don’t sweat the small stuff". Spend your energies on what is important. Stephen Covey talks about this when he has you work through the four quadrants of his time management process. Invest your time in what is important and you find you need to spend less time on urgencies. Isn’t this one of the basic concepts of Preventive Maintenance? Have the ability to tell the truth without blame or judgment. Wow, this is a good one. How much finger pointing goes on at your place? The food was late to the table because of the kitchen. The rooms weren’t ready because the desk didn’t tell housekeeping they needed them by 2:30pm. Are these issues that need to be fixed? Sure. How do you talk to each other about them? Moan and groan or calmly put the issue on the table and come together to find a solution? Two-way, respectful conversation. Same goal, same team. How you approach each other and how open to listening to each other is a big determining factor in whether you get to the solutions. Then there’s the whole conversation about how well we should be taking care of the Internal Customer. Be open to outcome rather than attached to an outcome that you want. Have you ever gotten lost on your way somewhere and come across that great restaurant everyone was talking about but you never knew where it was? How cool! Instead of griping about being lost, you used the experience to your advantage. The same can happen at meetings. You may arrive with a mental game-plan, but with the different perspectives of others’ on the topic, you find yourself on a completely new track. There are usually many right answers/solutions to a situation. Being open to them allows all sorts of possibilities. New ideas, innovations, competitive advantages. I have posted The Four Fold Way in my office as a reminder to follow these proven teachings and share them whenever I get the chance. I invite you to do the same. Jeanne d'Orleans, CHA, PHR is principal of d'Orleans & Associates Hospitality Training. She is a certified PDP facilitator who conducts Team-Building Workshops as part of the company's Winners Weekends, Successful Saturdays and tele-training.
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